The More You Subtract, the More You Add

Girls are insecure. I know you're thinking, "thank you Captain Obvious" and you're welcome. I think thats a phrase that we have come to resonate with, to know to be true and now we are so numb to it. That is sad. Girls everywhere (even those who look the way society tells them is right) are struggling with how they view themselves and we are almost immune to it. Its a part of life.

We also know exactly why girls have this issue: media. Media gets blamed for many things, but this one is totally their fault. As girls grow up, images are thrown at them daily of what a women should look like. Just a couple weeks ago in grow group, my student chaplain opened the night by asking what the perfect women looks like. And you know what the answers of college aged women were? Probably the same as ones a little girl would say, only more defined. This woman had medium length blond hair, blue eyes, was a size 4, great legs, decent sized bust, lack of cankles (I think I might have thrown that one in), amazing style, just the right amount of flirty, successful, and because she is so perfect: a gorgeous boyfriend. Where did we get this women from? Were we inspired by friends and family members? Maybe a little. Or do we see this women on the cover of every magazine, watch her on TV every day, or buy movies that she stars in? This women is plastered all over the media, with some different variations. In the article by Jean Kilbourne, she mentions that not only does the media impact girls, but their peers. I think that the media is impacting the peers who impact these girls. Its a vicious cycle.

Within the same article, Kilbourne lists statistics of women, girls actually, that are obsessed with matching up to what they see and hear:

"Some studies have found that from 40 to 80 percent of 4th grade girls are dieting. Today at least one third of twelve to thirteen year old girls are actively trying to lose weight, by dieting, vomiting, using laxatives or taking diet pills. One survey found that 63 percent of highschool girls were on diets, compared with only 16 % of men. And a survey in Massachusetts found that the single largest group of highschool students considering or attempting suicide are girls who feel they are overweight" (261).

That is crazy. Girls who are barely out of childhood are dieting and highschool girls are trying to kill themselves because they don't look a certain way and people are making fun of them for it and they think its easier to starve themselves, or die than to just be happy and healthy as they are.

So... where did this obsession come from??

Growing up, I had countless amounts of Barbie dolls. I loved playing with them for hours, dressing them up, doing their hair, making them go on dates, get married, have kids, the whole sch bang. They were a toy, a toy that I loved so when I got older and someone challenged me on the fact that my Barbies were the unattainable perfect woman, I was taken aback and somewhat offended. This person thought I was horrible for having such an awful toy...but then again, I was only 5 and I liked them. Whats the harm? Now that I look back, yes Barbie fits the "perfect woman" that I referred to above (minus her overly arched feet). No I look nothing like Barbie, but that did not bother me as a kid. There have been talks about making "fat Barbies" to make things more correct. I think by calling them fat, you have already killed any positive that you try to promote. Did some girls get unhealthy images of what a woman should look like from Barbie? Its possible. But I think there needs to be a better balance, and not as much extremes.

This problem of low self confidence in women needs to be fixed otherwise we will continue to hear tragic stories of little girls dieting, women killing themselves and all others not wanting to look in a mirror.