Fear or Fun?

Men and women are different. That is no news flash. The areas where they different are vast but one area in particular stands out: men (in general) have a fear of commitment and are desperate to hold on to their independence, whereas women are so ready to surrender their independance in return for a lifetime of commitment and intimacy :) . In the chapter, Men's Magazines and Modern Male Identities, Gauntlett explores the world of men's magazines and the underlying themes that appeal to their audience.

Women's magazines are about relationship advice, beauty tips, latest fashion and how to shop without breaking a budget. While men's magazines clearly would not reflect the same, they do have similar traits. Men's magazines are full of tips about women, how to get one interested, how to ask her out, how to keep her and how to keep her happy. Gauntlett explores 4 men's magazines to pull out key aspects and target audiences:

FHM:
content: women in bikinis, advice on life.
typical FHM guy: good in bed, considerate, skilled, witty and happy in relationships.

Loaded:
content: sports, drinking, fashion, silliness.
typical Loaded guy: single, go out, laugh all the time.

GQ:
content: expensive clothing, style, decent article, scantily clad women.
typical GQ guy: smartly dressed, well read, married to attractive woman (i.e. Claudia Schiffer).

Maxim:
content: combination of FHM and Loaded with macho-ness added in.
typical Maxim guy: good at everything, has sex with lots of attractive women.

(all info above taken from chapter 8 of Media, Identity and Gender by David Gauntlett).

So just from 4 guys magazines, what conclusions can we draw? I think it shows that there are many different types of guys: the sporty, the intellectual, etc. It also shows different interests. All include women in some way. In these examples, its all about the "attractive" women, it does not say anything about any other facet of a woman, just her looks.

One quote I pulled from this chapter is "There is not a fear of intimacy, but a fear of anything that might stop you from enjoying yourself, which includes boring mates, police, illness and partners. Relationships are not feared" (175). I think marriage could be thrown into the mix. Marriage can be seen to some men as the old "ball and chain" which would stop their wild days and make them be settled and boring. Its not the case for all men but is a possible one for others. I think that is fascinating. Men want to have fun and they fear the day that the fun would stop. The cause of that could be anything from a common cold to a lifelong partner. That makes a lot more sense. Its not necessarily the woman. Its what the commitment to the woman is stopping: fun.

Going along on this theme, I could not but help but think of The Office. One of the biggest themes of the earlier episodes of the show, we learn that Roy and Pam have been together for years and now have been engaged for 3 years with no wedding date set. They live together and are not the picture of a couple so in love. Roy takes Pam for granted, talks down to her and keeps stringing her along with hopes of a future wedding. He has no intent to actually set a date. And why? Well, as I have just learned, its because Pam would stop some of the fun Roy is having. Roy is still technically single, able to mingle if he wants, kick back with the boys, be independent, etc. By marrying Pam, it means his autonomy would disappear, he would be committed to only one woman (not able to play the field) and would have someone else to be responsible for besides himself which clearly (in Roy's head) equaled 0 fun. Only after Pam dumped him, did Roy become caring and doting. Apparently Pam leaving also took away from his fun. Well Pam was done with waiting and his insincerity and went and found herself a good man! :) :) :)