A Rare Ideal?

"Information and ideas from the media do not merely reflect the social world, then, but contribute to its shape, and are central to modern reflexivity".

That quote comes from the book Media, Gender and Identity, by David Gauntlett. In the chapter on identity, Gauntlett spends a chapter exploring the ideas of Anthony Giddens about the impact media truly has on the public as a whole. Giddens talks a lot about the individual and the impact media, more specifically social forces, has on each person in their relationships; personal, professional, acquaintances. In the quote above, Gauntlett is saying that what the media puts out to the public does not just mirror society, but adds to it. So media impacts society and society impacts media. Hm.

Going deeper, Gauntlett gives an example of how the media and society have changed the way individuals view and treat relationships. He talks about the high divorce rate, the idea that you should be with someone until they drive you crazy, then divorce them and move on to the next person. There is no idea of commitment or monogamy. Going on, he writes "The mass media is also likely to influence individuals perceptions of their relationships. whether in a serious drama or celebrity gossip, the need for "good stories" would always support an emphasis on change in relationships. Since almost nobody on TV remains happily married for a lifetime-whether we're talking about fictional characters or real life public figures- we inevitably recieve a mesage that monangomous heterosexual stablility in at best, a rare-'ideal' which few can expect to achieve (98)". So every time we turn on the TV, we see shows or hear news stories about ever-changing relationships. Many people joke around about how celebrity couples can't stay together but with the divorce rate at the level it is, we are no different than those whose lives are always televised. Seeing marriage and commitment to one person as a "rare-ideal" is only going to push the divorce rates higher, making people believe that they can never achieve a happy life with one person and should keep moving on until they do.

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are the perfect example of this celebrity happiness turned bad. They were married for 3 long, blissful years until they simply decided to "part ways". They claimed to both have mutual respect and love for each other until the divorce got ugly. So what went wrong? They were so in love, Nick wrote a song claiming to never stop loving Jessica, they had their lives watched by millions on the show "NewlyWeds" and constantly showed their affection for one another when in public. They were dedicated to one another until it got hard, until rumors of cheating came up. So instead of trying to work it out, they accepted the fact that they'd never be happy together and ended things. Now Nick is with Vanessa Minillo (after numerous rumors of other women) and Jessica is finally (after a few bad relationships) settled with Tony Romo. Are these relationships going to work or are they going to be good until life starts getting to be too much? These are the stories we hear about, the doomed relationships. We never hear about the couples who are celebrating 10 years (a feat for a Hollywood couple). They are out there too, but somehow rarely mentioned. Our priorities are skewed and until we see pure healthly relationships in the media, our own relationships will continue to suffer.